What happens in counselling?

The short answer is, you talk! This is why counselling is also sometimes known as ‘talk therapy’. Talking about difficult experiences with a person who does not judge you and makes you feel safe allows you to gain perspective. The counselling process aims to help people rearrange their feelings and understand themselves better.

How long does counselling take?

The counselling process can be short, which would be about 4 - 6 sessions. It can also be more extensive, sometimes lasting six months to a year. The length of the process depends on what issues you wish to discuss. The number of sessions necessary are discussed between the client and the counsellor at the beginning of the process. It is the client’s decision when to end the process.

A counselling session is one hour long, either once a week or once every two weeks. Sessions are held in the counsellor’s office or online by prior arrangement.

How is couple’s counselling different?

Couple’s counselling is different from individual counselling in a few keys ways. Firstly the each member of the couple must feel equally respected by the counsellor and never feel as if the counsellor is taking sides. Secondly there might be a longer period of acclimatisation at the start of couple’s work, because it might especially hard or embarrassing to discuss relationship issues with a stranger, or say difficult things aloud to your partner. Lastly, because couples often arrive in periods of crisis, the mood in the room might be heightened (shouting happens, and that’s O.K.) - in such cases the counsellor might need to take a more proactive role.

For couple’s at least six sessions are recommended. Jemma does not do online therapy with couples.

How can I get the most out of my counselling experience?

A counselling session can be very tiring, if the discussion brings up strong emotional reactions you didn’t expect. It is recommended that you build a bubble of time around the session, when you can relax and let your thoughts settle.

Keep regular appointments. Dropping in now and then is not an effective strategy since there is enormous value in keeping up the momentum of the therapeutic conversation. If the cost of regular therapy is the reason you cannot come regularly, speak to your counsellor about a payment plan that puts you back on track.

How do I know if I’ve chosen the right counsellor for me?

Creating a bond with your counsellor (sometimes called ‘rapport’ or ‘mutual regard’) is essential to the helping process. Do you feel that they listen well and respect you? Do you feel they are trustworthy?  Do they get you?

Different counsellors work from different theoretical perspectives - all approaches have the same goal ultimately, which is to strengthen a person’s understanding of themselves and increase their ability to handle life’s stressors.

You may find after a session or two that a counsellor’s methods don’t suit you. If you find your work together is tedious, frightening or aggravating you, be open about this. You won’t hurt your counsellor’s feelings. They will be able to help you find someone who is a better match.

Equally a good counsellor will be direct with you if they feel a helping bond hasn’t been established.

Can I claim my sessions from medical aid?

No, a counsellor’s services cannot be claimed from medical aid. Only psychologist and psychiatrist services can be. However, your counselling fees may be included in your tax returns as Additional Medical expenses Tax Credit (AMTC), making you eligible for rebate.

What is the difference between a counsellor and a psychologist or psychiatrist?

Psychologists and psychiatrists are specialists who treat mental illness. Both can diagnose mental illness and a psychiatrist prescribes medication. A person needs the help of a specialist like a psychologist or psychiatrist when their disturbances have caused their life to become profoundly distressing or unmanageable (if for example the person can no longer work or go to school, or eat or sleep).

Counsellors do not diagnose or treat mental illness, nor do they work with clients who are in extreme distress due exclusively to mental illness. Rather,  they work with the everyday problems of living, helping their clients toward self knowledge and equilibrium (a balance of the many factors that create a meaningful life). A good counsellor will always help their clients find a specialist if their problems are too overwhelming to be supported by counselling alone.

If you are unsure whether you need the help of a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor, ask for advice - anyone in any of these professions (as well as your GP) will be able to guide you to the right person.